Life as an Osborne: Crazy Busy

I apologize to our avid readers for not updating you on our fascinating lives. We’ve just been soooooo busy doing a whole lot of NOTHING, there has been too much to blog about. But fearing we will lose our fan base, I’ve decided to write about all the interesting things that have been going on with us.

I would like to start with a little rant as I do believe I was severely bleeding out of my anus on Friday evening from the new butthole that was ripped in my backside. Sorry, a little graphic I know. It all started with an innocent trip with my little sis-in-law Katie to treat myself to a pedicure and to get my nails done. It’s too complicated to explain what really happened (especially since I am still trying to figure that out myself) but in the end I ended up paying around $70-$80 for a service that should have been a max of about $50. For those of you who have never visited a nail salon, it’s imperative to learn their language if you want to get what you are asking for…because they definitely don’t understand English! Or, you can take along a friend who will tell them “what’s up” which is what I am planning on doing next time…although Katie did put up a good fight. I on the other hand stood there like a deer in headlights wondering what the hell just happened!

Saturday morning I had planned on getting a whole lot of work done on the baby’s room. While I was at work that morning, I had Steve strip out the molding in the nursery and sand the walls to get ready for me to paint. When I got home after standing in the heat for 2.5 hours, I looked down to see a 500lb woman’s ankle on my right leg…Holy crap, I had a cankle! I was very disgusted and after running a few errands with the hubby, I decided to take the rest of the day off. This meant watching two movies with my legs elevated on the couch. What an awesome day!! But, not wanting to be too lazy, I did do some homemade crafts for Ricky & Steve’s baseball game the next day! Needless to say, no paint has been put on the baby’s room as of today. Oops J

Sunday, in the blazing 90 degree weather, Steve and Ricky had a baseball game. As I am their #1 and #2 fan (baby is #2), I was there as always ready to cheer on the Orioles! But, to make my cheering section a bit more “festive” I added some homemade crafts which was an idea created by Mary and I on our fun excursion to a crazy craft store in Charlotte with my family members. Not wanting to let this idea die, I took on the responsibilities of creating these wonderful items for Mary and myself as she was in Raleigh all weekend. The cheering section was complete with foam visors and foam fingers!!

After the game, Steve and I decided it would be fun to invite Ricky and Mary over to help us with our “Osborne Beach Party.” To clarify…before I got pregnant, Steve and I celebrated the hot summer days with “Osborne Beach Party” which meant sitting in our driveway with our bathing suits on, drinking beer and getting a tan…True redneck fashion. Now, it includes Steve doing those things while I just tan and sweat to death. With it being so hot outside, we decided to step it up this time and went and bought an inflatable pool at Walmart. We promptly set that up in our FRONT yard, filled it up with water, and had a pool party at around 6:30 that evening. Mary decided that it would be a good idea to rub glitter tanning oil on Ricky so he could get some sun while we were outside…because you know, being in the sun at 6:30 in the evening is always the perfect time to get a tan! After that, Ricky was dubbed “Glitter Tits” or as I liked to call him “Sparkles.”

Frank even had a bit of fun himself this weekend. While at Walmart, Steve and I bought him a BIG bouncy ball because we thought it would be the perfect size. We know how much he loves playing with balls so we bought this for him because it was too big for him to get his mouth around so he wouldn’t be able to pop it. When we got home, he saw it and lit up like crazy, chasing it around the yard, playing soccer. It was too cute. But, about 2 minutes later the ball hit the trailer hitch and popped. Oh well…he had fun while it lasted. Next time, I think we may buy like 6 or 7 of them just for Frank. I would love to see what he would do if he was surrounded by that many at one time…talk about a sensory overload!

Well, I think that’s about it for the events that have gone on since the last blog. There are a few other things that have happened, one in which involved me chasing our cats around for 30 minutes trying to get one of them in the cat carrier to take to the vet. The end result…Cats 1, Crystal 0, and possibly a broken cat carrier because I threw it across the driveway in a fit of rage. Never make a pregnant woman angry!!! Other than that, life is pretty normal in the Osborne household J Until next time…enjoy my random assortment of pictures from this weekend.

Steve's first at bat on Sunday.